REFRAMING YOUR PERCEPTIONS TO BUILD RESILIENCY – PART 2
From Our Resiliency Blog Series: The Science & Spirit Of Resiliency: Building A Stronger You (Full list of 8 blogs)
IT’S TIME TO LEARN HOW TO REFRAME ANY PROBLEM!
Now it’s your turn to explore different ways of perceiving and creating meaning in your thoughts, behaviors, and responses to maximize living your Islamic values.
ACTIVITY 10.1 – REFRAMING PROBLEMS
1. Think about a past problematic or challenging situation where you were unhappy about the result or how you acted, responded, or behaved, which compromised your Islamic values.
E.g., When someone doesn’t appreciate my efforts, I feel rejected and seek ways to hurt them back.
2. Look at the list of empowering reframing questions in the previous blog/listed below:
- What/How is the best way to think, respond and feel about this, in line with my Islamic value/s of …?
- How would Allah (swt) (God) want me to think, respond and feel about this to achieve the best outcome?
- How would the Prophet (pbuh) think, respond and feel in this situation?
- What would the Prophet (pbuh) focus on?
- What would [another role model] focus on in this situation?
- What other possibilities might there be?
- What else might this mean?
- What would I like this to mean?
- How would I like to think, respond and feel here?
- In what frame (context) could this be positive or a useful resource?
- How can I use this situation or challenge to take my Islamic values to a higher level?
- How can I turn this around?
- What is the most useful question I can ask right now?
- What is my intention?
- Who am I trying to please?
- What don’t I know that would make a difference if I did?
a. Choose a question to reflect on.
b. Consider: what new empowering, positive perspectives and meanings are now emerging?
E.g., Perhaps the other person didn’t know how important this was to me.
3. Repeat the above activity (steps 1 and 2), using different positive reframe questions.
MORE EFFECTIVE WAYS TO REFRAME.
In this next section, you take a negative statement and consider other ways to reframe the context below.
For example: E.g., You tell yourself: “Patience in parenting is hard” What could you do?
REFRAME THE CONTEXT:
How hard it is depending on what I am focusing on.
REFRAME THE CONSEQUENCES:
What if my child copies my example when he/she becomes an adult?
REFRAME THE IDEAS, BELIEFS, THOUGHTS:
Parenting is sometimes not easy, it requires extra effort in patience and love.
REFRAME THE TIME:
Imagine the future reward Allah (swt) will bless me with for being patient now.
REFRAME THE SIZE:
Patience in parenting is hard when I have too many expectations at once.
How hard is it to learn just one new way of being patient?
CONSIDER YOUR INTENTION:
I truly want to be more patient in these situations but perhaps I just don’t have the right strategies, so I must do my research and come up with an effective strategy.
CONSIDER SIMILAR EXPERIENCES:
Have I had lots of patience in a similar type of situation previously?
Have I seen someone else be patient in a similar situation?
What did they do?
CONSIDER THE EVIDENCE:
- How do I know that it’s hard?
- What am I believing, thinking, saying or imagining that makes it hard?
- What proof is there that others have found it easy?
- I should look for inspiration in the Prophet’s (PBUH) life and the Qur’an.
Your Turn!
Consider a negative statement you often tell yourself. Review and reflect on each reframing question above.
Practicing these great reframing strategies above, will expand your perceptual skills towards achieving better results in your Islamic values, life and resiliency skills.
Reframing shows you that it’s not the events or circumstances that shape your life, feelings, and actions; rather, it’s the way you interpret or create meanings for every experience you live.
Reframing is one of the most powerful ways to improve how you think about any experience. The more you represent your daily life experiences in ways to support your values, the more successful you become in turning potential problems into something that works best for you!
Thanks for reading my blog!
Thank you for also being a part of our global self-improvement community as you explore this topic with us.
I deeply appreciate your support and look forward to sharing more valuable life transforming content to support your highest well-being.
Stay resilient and keep learning!
Written by Cynthia Aisha Meguid
Well-Being – Author, Educator, Consultant & Coach
